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JAMES - BIRTH STORY - Unplanned Homebirth with a Midwife in Private Practice

Caught in a whirlwind of medical procedure and Mother Nature, in the end Mother Nature, teamed with trust, came out on top. This is my reflection of James birth story. Pregnancy was such a wonderful time for me. A woman who would usually get upset over little things and have a strong need to be in control and organised suddenly became a bit more relaxed and confident. An attitude of go with the flow came about much to Jason's amazement, however the urge to be an information gatherer still existed I just wanted to do everything right and to the book. My initial fears of being a bad mother stemming from my own childhood concerned me however there was only two ways of looking at it I could either be a bad mother or I could learn from the experience and do my best for my child to give it everything I didn't have which option do you think is the better? When I found out I was pregnant and it became public knowledge, my friend Paula recommended that I see a private midwife to look after me during pregnancy. I loved the concept of having a private midwife but I also continued to see my Doctor. Why? I believed it was the right thing to do even though the midwife had pointed out the fact that 5 minutes in a doctors room cost $50 a pop for a bit of a poke, weigh in and general health check. I guess I just wanted the best of both worlds by seeing a Doctor and a midwife. Had I only seen a doctor over the past 10 months I don't think I would've been as informed or prepared as what I was with the private midwife. Let me rephrase that I wouldn't have had the support.

As the months went on, unfortunately pregnancy took a second stand. Whilst I was excited about being pregnant and the end result, I didn't want to become absorbed in it as I know that when I get obsessed about something I really can go overboard. Work seemed to dominate my life and whilst I knew that I probably should've taken it a bit easier than I did, it was hard because I didn't want to disappoint my employer nor myself. As a result of the long hours and erratic diet, at around 28 weeks I was told that I had Gestational diabetes I was devastated. I had been feeling so well throughout the pregnancy I felt healthy. How could something go wrong? I knew it was time to slow down but I still don't think I really did until about week 34. I finished up work a week earlier.

I had enjoyed being pregnant. It seemed that I got off lightly with morning sickness, puffiness and all the other complaints you often hear from women. Why is it that people always tell you the negative things? Same goes with the whole labour/child birth experience. Go the drugs; It is a pain you will never want to live through again; You don't know what you are getting yourself in for. The negatives always seem to outweigh the positives - Well I hope that I will be one of those women that can pass on a positive experience of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood.

Week 40 approached and I remember thinking that I didn't feel prepared for childbirth. In a way I was hoping that I could just skip the labour bit and have a child. Was it because of the horror stories? I just kept thinking to myself trillions of women have done this so why cant I? I also remember trying to convince myself that nothing could prepare me for child birth maybe that was my excuse for being a bit slack in the research department or maybe it was denial as the midwife had once mentioned!?!?

Week 40 arrived however no baby. I wasn't disappointed as I knew that it would be soon, even if it would still take another 2 weeks. Life went on as normal that day with a couple of walks down to the back paddock and general chores around the house. That night things started to progress. I felt a very slight period type pain but didn't think too much of it. It didn't feel like anything I should be concerned about and it certainly wasn't the definite sign that the midwife said I would know when it came. At 5am on Wednesday morning I got a show when I got out of bed later that morning I went to consult the books it was time to start reading up!! On Wednesday I seemed a lot slower than previous days and really all I wanted to do was relax. That night, the period type pains started coming more regularly and out of curiosity I started to time them at this stage it was about every 10 to 15 minutes. All I know is that I didn't get much rest that night. The pains continued into the morning then at 11am I started to leak. I called my midwife to let her know and she came out at about 1pm for our weekly visit and we spoke about it. She advised me to get as much rest as possible because tiredness will win in the end if I didn't. It was now that I really wanted to know more about the how's rather than the when's but she wouldn't give me any hints. Now I understand why. I really wanted to have clear in my head how the whole home to hospital thing was going to work. For the last time she once again mentioned the home birthing option. She assured me that she wasn't going to trick me. I still had it clear in my head that it would go something like this. I would call her when the contractions started to come more regularly. She would come out to the house and sit with me until it was time to go. I didn't want to be at the hospital for very long and felt more comfortable at home until it was time to go. We would all then jump into the car then cruise into the hospital and maybe 1-2 hours later a baby would be born. This is how it really went.

By mid afternoon the contractions started coming every 6 minutes and lasted for about 40 60 seconds. By early evening, the contractions came every 4 5 minutes. I was still feeling okay and in control and didn't need anyone at this stage. It didn't even really enter my head that the baby might be here soon and I was almost positive that it would probably be sometime the next day. At 9.00pm the pain from the contractions was too much now and I asked Jason to call our midwife as I couldn't do it by myself anymore. From this point on I had no concept of time. The midwife arrived and sat with me. Inside my mind I think I was hoping that by her being there that the pain might go away, but it didn't. It did make it more bearable though as I knew that Jason couldn't help me any longer. I remember trying to look at the stopwatch the midwife had during contractions to know how long the contractions wer. I honestly thought that they were only about 20 seconds apart they were actually around the minute mark. All of a sudden things started to happen. Firstly I felt sick then I recall telling her that I needed to do a wee. She sent me off to the toilet. Apparently I made a noise that alerted her to something happening and she asked me me to feel inside. I felt something hard and was a little freaked out because it was the head. I recall her looking me straight in the eye and saying, Kath, the baby is coming. We need to make a decision. I looked up at Jason for him to make the call. I know that he played a major part in the decision to go to the hospital so I wanted it to be a decision that we made together. I cant even remember what Jason's response was but all of a sudden there was a flurry of activity around me. I looked up and saw mats laid out on the floor and the oxygen tank. I didn't panic because I trusted our midwife and knew I was in good hands. Before I knew it I pushed a couple of times while on the toilet then she told me to get onto all fours on the floor. I didn't think I would be able to get off the toilet but somehow I did. One more push and out James came. I remember sitting very still on the spa step and just taking it all in. James had to be attended too I wasn't worried about myself and the blood that I saw on the floor. As long as James was okay. The midwife placed James in my arms and it was wonderful. I recall feeling shocked it had happened. I had given birth and I had done it at home. WOW! I also needed to see Jason and remember just looking at him. Look what we had made.

From that point on till today as I write this reflection, natural instincts and mother nature have played a big part in the next transition in our lives. I always wanted to have things as natural as possible and not sure why I was so wrapped up in following medial procedure. I cant wait to be pregnant again and give birth to our second child now and its only day 10 of Motherhood. I am enjoying it immensely and I only hope that I can pass on the positive experience to the next woman I come across that is pregnant.