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EMMA - BIRTH STORY - Planned Homebirth with a Midwife in Private Practice

After 6 months of trying to conceive the day finally came when I had missed my period and did the test. I almost didn't believe that I actually was pregnant and had to do the test 3 times before I was convinced. The two stripes were definitely there and I was definitely pregnant. I couldn't wait to call our midwife and officially ask her if she would do the honours again as my midwife. Jason and I had briefly discussed the home birth option and he had agreed but I think with not much thought at that early stage. As the weeks and months went by, complications started to arise. Firstly the Gestational Diabetes, but that was really no surprise, just the taking of insulin kind of threw me off a bit. Then there was a chance of a breech baby however the Doctor or the midwife didn't seem to concerned about discussing the options and I was certainly already looking into whether there was a way I could still give birth naturally to a breech baby. Then the 36 week ultrasound came back with it documented in black and white that the cord was around the baby's neck. While I loved being pregnant I was a bit over the roller coaster of emotions associated with complications. It seems that the roller coaster ride was going to continue right up until the end!

On Wednesday night I started to have a few niggles which I had hoped might eventuate into something then but it seemed that Emma was going to make us wait. On Thursday I started to feel tired and wanted to rest and deep down inside thought that maybe it would happen then. I was often going on gut feelings but sometimes they can get a bit muddled up with what you actually would like to happen! I really wanted to listen and respond to my body this time.

Friday came and went. Our midwife was heading down to Melbourne to the theatre. She and I had convinced ourselves that it wasn't going to happen because she wasn't going to be around. Funnily enough when she called in the morning to tell me that she was about to leave. No sooner had I got off the phone and gone to the toilet that I had had a show and quickly called to tell her. Now a true sign had arrived but it was going to be a slow process again. I didn't want her to cancel her trip to Melbourne and I also didn't want her to be anxious while she was down there so I texted her a couple of times to keep her mind at ease and maybe mine as well! Friday passed and Saturday arrived. Saturday soon passed and soon Sunday came with niggling all the way.

As it was Jason's birthday on Sunday I was hoping that I might be able to give him an extra special birthday present. James had given me the biggest cuddle that night and I just didn't want to let go. It was like he knew that our time together was going to change. It made me cry. Jason was being Mr Funny but I think that was to cover up his nervousness. It was nearly time for Emma to come into our lives but not just yet. As the contractions continued they were by no means the real contractions those hours before actual birth. Mental note to self next time real contractions are the ones with grunt and groan. Our midwife came out Sunday night but nothing happened. We went to bed, they continued throughout the night.

Monday morning, at about 5.30am, the midwife was back here with the second midwife  in toe. The contractions had a bit of pain to them but just weren't lasting long enough to kick in. I also felt like I was under a bit of pressure and maybe that's why nothing was happening. The midwives left around 11.00am and Jason and I were left with the thought of maybe we could bring things on naturally when James went down for his sleep. It was strange because in a way I wanted this to happen but I also wanted to wait and see how and when my body would allow me to give birth. In the end we had sex and no later than 2 hours had passed that the real grunt and groan contractions started. We were finally on the way!

The contractions were about 10 minutes apart and quickly jumped to 5 minutes. 5 minutes seemed to be Emma's magic number. From about 2.00am Monday morning the contractions were 5 minutes apart for a good 8 hours so when we reached this magic number again we thought..here we go, 5 minutes again.

At around 4.00pm I called the midwife to tell her that I was still okay and that they were about 5 minutes apart. Things started to get a bit busy around the house about 30 minutes later with James banging pots and pans and Jason's phone ringing and all I wanted to do was go and hide in the bedroom. In a split second I was on the phone to the midwife and asked her to come out because it probably wouldn't hurt if she was here. No sooner had I got off the phone and made my way to my little safe haven that the contractions seemed to be coming a bit quicker as I walked around the bed telling myself to hold on as I waited for the midwife. As soon as her car arrived I seemed to have relaxed and they seemed to be very regular and with pressure.

She started to set things up and asked if she should run the bath. I told her that it wouldn't hurt and if I didn't like it I could always get out. The second midwife soon arrived and I think that's when it all began. Emma started to make her way down with the pressure in my bottom increasing each time. I then needed to go to the toilet but tried to convince the midwife (and maybe myself) that it was only a wee so it wasn't happening just yet. No sooner had I been to the toilet that I was in the bath with a huge sigh of relief from the water. I think very soon after my waters broke. What seemed like the next contraction, Emma's head was born and then the next a little bub was born. I remember through the contractions asking the midwife to help me as I thought she was leaving me but she wasn't going anywhere.

As I sat in the water in disbelief just hoping that everything was all right, they called Jason and James in from outside to come and meet our new addition. At that stage we both didn't know the sex but we were able to find out together which was nice. I actually thought that Emma was a boy at first because all I saw was the cord and thought it might be a penis but then realised it was far to long and asked Jason what the sex was A girl. James had the biggest smile on his face and Jason just had this look of amazement on his face. This time I was going to capture his expression in my memory bank.

At first I was very nervous holding Emma in my arms and my heart literally pounded. I wasn't too sure why. Whether it was the adrenalin rushing through me, the responsibility of a newborn or maybe the start of a Mother and Daughter relationship that I could mould any way I wanted too. I have started a journal for Emma to help me through this and one day will give it to her maybe when she becomes a Mum. At first I wasn't sure whether I could bond with Emma but no sooner had I accepted my fears that the love started to come flooding in. I hope I can be the Mum to her that I always wished I had. I will certainly try my best and Emma and I will work it out together.